..been dying to be in CEBU..gosh gosh..so excited..i can't almost sleep..arg!!..4 days to go na lng at nasa CEbu na kami..weewwwwww..thanks for that fieldtrip "thing"..:)..
eto..nagreresearch sa hotel na tutulogan and sa places na pupuntahan..
Monday is the day!!!!!!!!!!....
Drunk
A sip of rh for a change. Feeling the intensity as it overruled my consciousness. 1bot of stallion..2..3..4..then things became so blurred..my cheeks were burning sooo hot..my mind was trying to catch all the things they said.. It’s not functioning right. .I burped. .I could feel the food as my stomach rejects it.. Nd then I puked. My world was spinning lightly.. I could not do this alone.. Could not go home.. That was what I called drink till you drop.coz im fucking messy..the horse hit me so hard..in that very moment..passing out was such a no—-no—. My body reacted the other way..well, thanks to the person who accompanied me in going home..:)
What's the best remedy?
when I own something..I want it to be FULLY mine..I’m selfish,o yeah!!..and I had him tied up..I want his attention—all the time—..knowing his actions is a MUST..I set the rules..he follows it..the u can do,u can’t do this thing..
..—-there must be really something wrong with me..——????
..—-there must be really something wrong with me..——????
comatose
..Wanting my system down…my eyes are then tightly closed…it’s been so quiet…it’s already late and I needed to sleep! Unrecognizable sounds then started to exist…It’s deafening my senses…I can’t concentrate…I could hear my heart beat…I’m sleeping yet why am I hearing this things??..It’s like my soul has been detached from my body…what’s happening??…my heart beats faster and faster like I was being followed by something I don’t know…arg!!!!….
How to let go of someone you really love..
1.Do not resist the pain.When you are heartbroken, the first thing you want to do is run away from the pain and suppress it with self-destructive habits such as drinking alcohol, using drugs, etc. to numb yourself. But these do not really help. The only thing it does is keep the feelings buried inside of you which will hurt you more in the long run. Address the situation by welcoming the hurt feelings as part of being human. It is hard to do this step especially when you feel so vulnerable, but it is an important step in healing yourself. Once the purpose is done, the pain will leave and you will be free.
2.Swallow the truth. Constantly denying the fact that the person you love will stay just by your own sheer desire is blind thinking. The old saying, “The truth will set you free”, will always hold true. Make peace with yourself by acknowledging that the person you love cannot love you back and that is a truth you need to accept.
3.Make a firm decision to move on. In order to let go of someone you really love, you must take the first step to healing. No other person can do that for you. If you really want to get over your lost love, stop yourself from dwelling in the past. Live in the present the best way you can and see yourself having a better future with someone who is really meant for you.
4.Get rid of the things that remind you of the other person. These include all the gifts, letters, pictures, etc. that you received from him/her. The more detached you are with the things that have something to do with the other person, the faster it is for you to let go.
5.Forgive the other person and yourself. In life, we take risks, and one of that is in the area of love. If you find yourself loving someone who cannot love you back, don’t punish yourself by holding on to the misery forever. Refrain from blaming and be forgiving. It’s not your fault that the love relationship didn’t work out. Sometimes things just don’t happen the way you want them to be. You still have better things in store for you.
6.Give yourself time to heal. The bible says there is always time for everything. Do not rush into letting go of someone you love because you are presently hurt and you want to get rid of the feeling right away. This causes more scarring. Instead, allow time to heal you. Depending on the depth of your feelings and your attachment, it could take months or even years. Once you have the desire and faith to really move on, the powers of the universe will help you achieve that goal. Be patient and see the results in time.
2.Swallow the truth. Constantly denying the fact that the person you love will stay just by your own sheer desire is blind thinking. The old saying, “The truth will set you free”, will always hold true. Make peace with yourself by acknowledging that the person you love cannot love you back and that is a truth you need to accept.
3.Make a firm decision to move on. In order to let go of someone you really love, you must take the first step to healing. No other person can do that for you. If you really want to get over your lost love, stop yourself from dwelling in the past. Live in the present the best way you can and see yourself having a better future with someone who is really meant for you.
4.Get rid of the things that remind you of the other person. These include all the gifts, letters, pictures, etc. that you received from him/her. The more detached you are with the things that have something to do with the other person, the faster it is for you to let go.
5.Forgive the other person and yourself. In life, we take risks, and one of that is in the area of love. If you find yourself loving someone who cannot love you back, don’t punish yourself by holding on to the misery forever. Refrain from blaming and be forgiving. It’s not your fault that the love relationship didn’t work out. Sometimes things just don’t happen the way you want them to be. You still have better things in store for you.
6.Give yourself time to heal. The bible says there is always time for everything. Do not rush into letting go of someone you love because you are presently hurt and you want to get rid of the feeling right away. This causes more scarring. Instead, allow time to heal you. Depending on the depth of your feelings and your attachment, it could take months or even years. Once you have the desire and faith to really move on, the powers of the universe will help you achieve that goal. Be patient and see the results in time.
My Life
Life… is like a box of chocolates - a cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that no one ever asks for, unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So, you’re stuck with mostly undefinable whipped mint crap, mindlessly wolfed down when there’s nothing else to eat while you’re watching the game. Sure, once is a while you get a peanut butter cup or an English toffee but it’s gone too fast and the taste is fleeting. In the end, you are left with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts, which, if you are desperate enough to eat, leaves nothing but an empty box of useless brown paper.
HIM
Before my boring state intertwined with my sanity..i found 3 call records in my phone..the first thing I thought was to delete it all but then I was curious of whose voice it was..Hearing the first word “hello”..I already guessed who it was..haha..it really did made me smile..something in that voice made me missed the guy..Laughing my heart out hearing him say hello for about 4times and then all of a sudden he laughed..he looked so stupid..hahah..Wew!..melting my heart away..I missed his seductive laugh..grrr..in short..I missed him..
Obsession
My hands aren’t clean and they’ll never be
Not for all the times I’ve sullied them
My mind won’t quiet this insanity
Not for all the times I’ve tried
Every seam has a purpose
But mine have begun to fray
I know I can’t take much more of this
Corruption’s my decay
My words aren’t true and I’ll never speak
For a true phrase is a dangerous thing
My interactions won’t be more than meek
For I fear what you have to say
Swirling thought, hate filled words, glares like glancing blows
What I perceive
What you believe
They’re not the same, you know?
My paranoia is here and it will never cease
Not for all the backwards glances
My hope is gone, too great the fees
For my madness was the greatest
Solitary is how I pass my time
Though you should know I am never alone
What rages through my mind’s a crime
And on and on it drones
My dreams have withered and then died
For I dared to fantasize
My suffering cannot be denied
For I’ve begun to revel
Martyrdom provides a chance
An excuse for this depression
Every day I dance this dance
Its becoming an obsession
Its really time to make this stop
This filthy beating heart
But I live on, a ticking clock
Wishing an end, gaining a start
Not for all the times I’ve sullied them
My mind won’t quiet this insanity
Not for all the times I’ve tried
Every seam has a purpose
But mine have begun to fray
I know I can’t take much more of this
Corruption’s my decay
My words aren’t true and I’ll never speak
For a true phrase is a dangerous thing
My interactions won’t be more than meek
For I fear what you have to say
Swirling thought, hate filled words, glares like glancing blows
What I perceive
What you believe
They’re not the same, you know?
My paranoia is here and it will never cease
Not for all the backwards glances
My hope is gone, too great the fees
For my madness was the greatest
Solitary is how I pass my time
Though you should know I am never alone
What rages through my mind’s a crime
And on and on it drones
My dreams have withered and then died
For I dared to fantasize
My suffering cannot be denied
For I’ve begun to revel
Martyrdom provides a chance
An excuse for this depression
Every day I dance this dance
Its becoming an obsession
Its really time to make this stop
This filthy beating heart
But I live on, a ticking clock
Wishing an end, gaining a start
Dope
you think i’m crazy..
yah think i’m not..
been soaked unto you..
been drowned with your scent..
arg!!..avoiding you,it’s like killing my self..
i wanna run away..
i’m so tightly tied up to you..
let go of me..
set me free!!..
you’re freshly human..
yah think i’m not..
been soaked unto you..
been drowned with your scent..
arg!!..avoiding you,it’s like killing my self..
i wanna run away..
i’m so tightly tied up to you..
let go of me..
set me free!!..
you’re freshly human..
Insanity
arg!!..
this twilight saga invasion just caught me in the midst of my nothingness..
sucking every part of my thoughts..
like i have no choice to stop it..
like i am doomed to follow it..
I just finished reading the “breaking dawn”..
and all I could say..
I want M-O-R-E!!..
my life..
.I think I've discovered the secret of life..
----you just hang around until you get used to it..
----you just hang around until you get used to it..
Steps to get away..
.I was trying to mend you..
..Trying hard to say everything..
..everything even if it hurts..
..I was trying to be your friend..
..A friend who loves you..
..I was trying to run away..
..Away from everything..
..You kept holding on..
..As if I won your heart..
..As if your mine..
......
..Trying hard to say everything..
..everything even if it hurts..
..I was trying to be your friend..
..A friend who loves you..
..I was trying to run away..
..Away from everything..
..You kept holding on..
..As if I won your heart..
..As if your mine..
......
Meant to say Goodbye
Myn:
we were always meant to say goodbye..
we were never meant for do or die..
perfect couldn't keep this love alive..
and i hate it when you're lying..
i hate watching myself crumpled into pieces..
you know that i love you so..
i love you enough to let you go..
and i want you to know..
that this doesn't matter..
where we take this road..
someone's gotta go..
you can't make it feel right..
when you know it's totally wrong..
we were always meant to say goodbye..
we were never meant for do or die..
perfect couldn't keep this love alive..
and i hate it when you're lying..
i hate watching myself crumpled into pieces..
you know that i love you so..
i love you enough to let you go..
and i want you to know..
that this doesn't matter..
where we take this road..
someone's gotta go..
you can't make it feel right..
when you know it's totally wrong..
Behind it all
.Intangible thotz and ideas n random.. spring up from my confused brain to transform into a piece of readable.. if not tangible material... The underlying philosophy is dis.."nature has a tendency to favor exothermic reactions".. It wud only be natural that writing does, too.. Writing is release.. Spontaneity. . A feelin of healing from just exploding..just emptying out rivers of heaviness from a weary heart.. Or an overcrowded, tired mind. . A pouring out of views, or of recollections of past events.. Though reminiscing d past wud sometyms, f not all d tym, rub salt into almost-forgotten pains, it evokes such vivid and passionate responses from you dat it gives u something to write about.. Yeah, I know..Lyf is such a great story plot.. It has its time and setting, characters, conflicts and climaxes, too.. A captivating play.. Tragedy.. Wherein characters perform without missing cues and acting in harmony with d story plot requirements dat it wud be almost believable.. Well, almost.. For lyf is just a play, with its own fictional touches, each of us assuming roles that we need to enact whether we like it or not, hoping the resolution will be a happy ending..
the teener life
When you step in your 'senior teenage year' you will get tired of hating the world and bitching whenever your parents order you to do something that is against your will. I mean, come on, you are almost done in post-secondary school. It is about time to think of job opportunities, corporate clothes, and a brighter tomorrow. You are about to become independent, standing in your own feet. Optimism is pumping in your veins. You know the cliche.
Nevertheless, I am afraid that there exists a minority who feel that cynicism paid them a late visit. The late bloomers are starting to feel that they are losing control over their lives, something that they did not experience during their early teens. Anything that does not go along their way makes them feel helpless, and sometimes leads them to the state of denial. You usually hear them talking how life is starting to get really blurry when it is supposed to be bright and secure (because of post-secondary education). What is most interesting is how parents get involve in this rather abnormal appearance of hatred and grudge in the life of an early 20's person.
If you think about it, hating your parents is not cool especially if you are in your 20's. As a reasonable son/daughter, you are supposed to be calm and collected, thinking that you have to be more patient because you are getting older, and so does your parents. You have to understand that sometimes, the folks think in a very twisted manner, and as a person with a wider view of the world (or someone that understands more), you just have to deal with what they are saying. After all, it would not take a while before you settle down and finally leave their place, right?
There are things around us that do annoy us, to the point that we feel numb and apathetic because of too much angst. You might want to complain about how your parents are exposing your inner bitch, by setting up a curfew and other restrictions that usually apply to a teenager. While those who experienced this situation got it over with, let us just hope for the best for those people who had it in a later point of time, that brewing the negative feelings would not affect the rest of their adult life.
Nevertheless, I am afraid that there exists a minority who feel that cynicism paid them a late visit. The late bloomers are starting to feel that they are losing control over their lives, something that they did not experience during their early teens. Anything that does not go along their way makes them feel helpless, and sometimes leads them to the state of denial. You usually hear them talking how life is starting to get really blurry when it is supposed to be bright and secure (because of post-secondary education). What is most interesting is how parents get involve in this rather abnormal appearance of hatred and grudge in the life of an early 20's person.
If you think about it, hating your parents is not cool especially if you are in your 20's. As a reasonable son/daughter, you are supposed to be calm and collected, thinking that you have to be more patient because you are getting older, and so does your parents. You have to understand that sometimes, the folks think in a very twisted manner, and as a person with a wider view of the world (or someone that understands more), you just have to deal with what they are saying. After all, it would not take a while before you settle down and finally leave their place, right?
There are things around us that do annoy us, to the point that we feel numb and apathetic because of too much angst. You might want to complain about how your parents are exposing your inner bitch, by setting up a curfew and other restrictions that usually apply to a teenager. While those who experienced this situation got it over with, let us just hope for the best for those people who had it in a later point of time, that brewing the negative feelings would not affect the rest of their adult life.
7 Things I hate about Him
1.)He always point out my flawses..duh!!..as if he’s perfect!!..
2.)He “make-faces” when I’m mad..gosh!!..so rude!!
3.)”Thumb-sucker”..shox..parang bata..
4.)Flooding of text messages..whenever I couldn’t reply his text..
5.)He always pushes me to do something I hate..like making friends of his friends..duh!
6.)He hates our dog.
7.)He hate books.
2.)He “make-faces” when I’m mad..gosh!!..so rude!!
3.)”Thumb-sucker”..shox..parang bata..
4.)Flooding of text messages..whenever I couldn’t reply his text..
5.)He always pushes me to do something I hate..like making friends of his friends..duh!
6.)He hates our dog.
7.)He hate books.
Dwelling Pain
that face..that smile..that sincere looked..a perfectly worn mask,i guess..how it started i dont know..how this happened ..i really don't know..
I may be a freak to still want him..i ma be a fooll coz i chose to stay..i may be such a coward not to let him go..it may be stupidity to still love him..
false accusations thrown unto me..i was so blind not to see how he mistreated me..how he entered and ruined my life..how he slowly broke my heart..yet..it's a bit mysterious how he still manages to love me..
I may be a freak to still want him..i ma be a fooll coz i chose to stay..i may be such a coward not to let him go..it may be stupidity to still love him..
false accusations thrown unto me..i was so blind not to see how he mistreated me..how he entered and ruined my life..how he slowly broke my heart..yet..it's a bit mysterious how he still manages to love me..
Lapses
As the perimeter of my lungs crumpled down..
blurry reigns in..
fyting to inhale more air..
but every breath I take..
feels like a burning sensation of slowly killing my self..
blurry reigns in..
fyting to inhale more air..
but every breath I take..
feels like a burning sensation of slowly killing my self..
Life
..I think I’ve discovered the secret of life..
——you just hang around until you get used to it..
-sakimAko
——you just hang around until you get used to it..
-sakimAko
Captivity
..strange atmosphere of haven,
I’m trapped..
help me from dying..
stop me from drowning..
I’m broke but I’m happy..
soaked of being ennui..
I’m trapped..
help me from dying..
stop me from drowning..
I’m broke but I’m happy..
soaked of being ennui..
